This doesn't deal so much with my experience as with death in general, but it's on my mind, so you get to read it.
Jodi posted a link to a site called "90 Day Jane" on her blog. "90 Day Jane" is a countdown to suicide. A ninety day countdown. "Jane" believes that life is pointless...so pointless that she needs to spend 90 days preparing for her death and telling the entire internet about it. Uh huh.
I've been thinking about Jane...some people buy it, some don't. I don't really care if she does it or not, but I have to say that there are some things that should be kept private and suicide is one of them. Not only does this site totally glorify the concept of "the countdown" that some people go through when they attempt suicide, but it takes suicide and makes a joke out of it. If she truly doesn't care, then she should shut up and do it. If she truly has such little respect for life, then do it, but don't bother the internet with it. There's enough crap out there.
I have friends who have lost family and people they love to suicide. I've lost a friend to suicide. Suicide is not a joke, it's an act of ultimate desperation. And while there are few things I can think of that are more selfish in this life than suicide, bragging about it all over the internet has to be toward the top of the list. I can't judge anyone who has committed suicide, it's just not fair. It's disrespectful to their families and to their loved ones to do so. Who I do judge, though, are people who use suicide or the threat of it as some sort of a stunt. Surely the meaning of life has not disintegrated to the level where even the breath that flows in your own lungs is no longer sacred? Learning all of the things I have been--the biological processes in place--life is intentional. And if a person truly sees no way out, then I pity him. If a person plays with suicide as some sort of joke, then shame on her. Shame on you, "90 Day Jane."